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Let's Go Goodbye Blue Monday By Goodbye Blue Monday

by Goodbye Blue Monday

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1.
2.
There’s something wrong with me This condition is becoming part of my routine Oh no! This may be triggering Cause it breaks my heart with each breaking dawn It’s a matter of time before ya boi is gone Oh no! This may be triggering Oh no! This may be triggering It’s a slippery slope on this uphill struggle I guess it’s fair to say that I’m in trouble Oh no! This may be triggering If I piss into a bottle, then here’s my last request: Throw it over my grave when they lay me down to rest Oh no! This will be triggering Oh no! This will be triggering It’s not that I’m not ok It’s that I’m never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok That I’m not ok That I am never ok I’m not ok I’m not ok This will be triggering I’m not ok I’m not ok
3.
I’m building myself in with a wall of white lies Brick by brick by brick made to disguise That I’ve got so many faces, every different situation So many faces for different conversations Created Presented Replicated for what’s expected But I’ve got a face I’ve got a name An empty vessel A vacant frame But I think there’s a heart In there Somewhere I can hear it and I don’t think I like it Beating Bleeding I can hear it and I’m trying hard to hide it If they knew me Would they abandon me? If they knew that I’m a person made of plasticine I’d be alone Again I’m just a muthafuckin’ actor Leaving space for the sound of canned laughter Between the lines from a badly written script There’s a character I’m trying to depict oh With a lifetime of improv classes Taking cues from the audience Shout your suggestions out loud What do you want me to do now? What do you want me to do now? But there’s a heart In there Somewhere I can hear it and I don’t think I like it Beating Pleading I can hear it and I’m trying hard to fight it If they knew me Would they abandon me? If they knew that I’m a person made of plasticine I’d be alone I’ve got no identity I’m pretending to be a human being You’ll never know me You’ll never know me Just the smokescreen of a burning effigy You see an avatar You’ll only see the guard You’ll never know me You’ll never know me And I’m sorry
4.
I’ve got a clock ticking and I don’t know why For every second wasted on catastrophising Likely scenarios for every stupid thing I’ll ever say I’ve got a clock ticking and I don’t know why For every minute wasted on identifying Analysing, scrutinising, every reason why they will hate me And when I’m feeling vulnerable I tell myself I’m incapable Retreat to what I find comfortable To spend the time with My anxiety Is breaking me And I Feel it taking me Into the darkness, where I was always gonna go Now I know anxiety, anxiety You’re breaking me I’ve got the constant feeling I’ve done something wrong That I’ve annoyed everybody, I’ve upset someone I find it harder and harder and harder to focus I know I’m losing control of my spiralling neurosis And when I’m feeling comfortable I remember life is insufferable And dying is preferable To never again feel this Anxiety Is breaking me And I Feel it taking me Into the darkness, where I was always gonna go This I know anxiety, anxiety You’re breaking me You’re breaking me
5.
There’s a reflection of a man I used to be But I hate the one I’m seeing who is standing in front of me My limbs are slowing down But my brain is speeding up Pull yourself together baby, come on suck in that gut You’re getting older, getting older Getting older, you’re getting older Look at my wretched face painted with lines and scars Written by the life that I have lived and carved. I could just scream at my distorted body My damaged arms, my flabby tummy Cover your eyes Please cover your eyes I’m disgusting like the person I am inside You’re getting older, getting older, getting older My mind can’t keep up You’re getting older, getting older My body’s getting older, but my mind can’t keep up Now I know my debts will never be cleared And I know I won’t get over my insecurities I know I’ll never age with dignity And I’m starting to think my dog will outlive me I know I’ll be the first to go I know I’ll be the first to go To go I know I’ll be the first to go Getting older, getting older Getting older, you’re getting older To go Getting older, getting older Getting older, you’re getting older
6.
You’re sitting on the sofa While I’m self-harming in the bathroom I think you need to think this over Why waste your time with me when you know what I will put you through You tell me you love me and you get no response Still holding onto me when I’ve completely withdrawn I’m coldly detached while you try to connect And try to understand and try hard to accept Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh Don’t tell me this is what you wanted Don’t tell me this is what you had in mind I can tell that you are exhausted Hoping everything will be alright Lying next to you when you feel like a stranger With your arms around me, waiting for my mood to change but I can still feel your tears running slowly down my back I’m aware, can’t understand during a panic attack So turn off the movie cause I can’t sit still Cancel that night out cause I’m too unstable Stick that food in the fridge, I can’t stomach another meal Turn off the light, I need more fucking time to heal Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh Don’t tell me this is what you wanted Don’t tell me this is what you had in mind I can tell that you are exhausted Hoping everything will be alright Everything will be alright But when I’m awake all night, I’ll run my finger up your spine I’ll still reach out for you even when my health is in decline My arms flapping on Valium find their way round your neck I might not be there for you, but I’ll still remember to check Even though you tell me not to, I will still apologise I might have a blank stare but I will still try to meet your eyes Even if I pull away, I know that you will pull me through The blood on the floor comes from a heart that truly loves you Loves you
7.
8.
Hara-Kiri 16:12
There’s a speed camera in my head Flashing me, telling me to slow down But the breaks in this old shitheap They don’t work anymore And I’m backseat driving anyway Just waiting on a breakdown Or waiting on a spin out I know I’m gonna spin out And crash into a ditch Let them identify my body Notify my family And then they’ll search through the wreckage To find a piece of me, who I used to be But there’s nothing left to find of me anymore I can’t sit still now Do anything for a way out I got this minefield mindset, exploding at the seams It’s a lock down lock down You’re not getting in and I’m not getting out Stumbling down the tightrope of reality and dreams The psychiatrist is saying that I’ve started displaying Troubling behaviour and it’s cause for alarm A crisis referral’s got me running round in circles Drug me, dope me, before I do harm Push it all away Push em all away Push it all away Push em all away Push it all away Push em all away Push it all away Push em all away Something’s wrong Impulses firing This impulse buying I’ve no self-control Something’s wrong I’ll do anything gratifying And it’s terrifying I can feel myself letting go Push it all away Push em all away Push it all away Push em all away Push it all away Push em all away I’ve got everyone treating me like a stranger And telling me that I need to make changes And I know deep down that I am in danger Of losing myself, of becoming someone who can’t get back Get back get back To what? I don’t know But I’m feeling like I don’t even care Get back get back Gotta take your time, slow down, Find out if there’s anything there Cause everybody’s saying that I’m different And telling me they’re starting to lose interest But I’ve lost all hope of finding a reference Of who I was now Of who I am now They found me Dying in the sheets They found me Dying in the sheets They found me Dying in the sheets They found me Dying This shooting star Will crash down hard And will scatter, will shatter me Till there’s nothing left When I’ve come to rest And nobody to sift through the debris I’m gonna do what I wanna do Not gonna listen when they tell me to Stop overthinking and drinking just to get through Don’t wanna stop or recognise I’m living a life I fantasise I’m staying up, taking off, gonna split the skies This shooting star Will crash down hard And will scatter, will shatter me Till there’s nothing left When I’ve come to rest And nobody to sift through the debris I’m too wired to be tired I’m too bored, I want more I’m getting haunted in the daytime now By the things that go bump in the light A sunrise through wild eyes A sickline, a lifeline I have a million things I want to do And it feels like I’m running out of time Fingertips reeking of cigarettes I’m trying to make plans I’ll soon forget Cause I’m drinking anything for days on end To stop the never-ending feeling of discontent It’s time for social media meltdowns And ‘Lost In Translation’ marathons With a broken compass stuck in my hand To navigate a shitstorm I don’t understand. With shaky hands And nauseous turns Palpitations Carving arms Empty bank balances I will embrace all of This is mania I’ll make my own reality I'll be the person I don’t want to be Mania I’ll make my mind fully defenceless I’ll do what I want I don’t care about the consequences I’ve been playing with matches Burning to ashes all that’s left of me But when the smoke clears from my stinging eyes All I can see is death in front of me I’ve never hated myself so much I’m finding shame but I’m losing touch Opening my wrists while closing doors I’ve never seen this much blood coming out of me before Lost inside my mind A mindset setting off a minefield Tell myself that It’s not real It’s not real no Oh god, this can’t be real I’ve never hated myself so much I’m finding my shame, but I’m losing touch Opening my wrists while closing doors I’ve never seen this much blood coming out of me before You’re fuckin sick You’re fuckin sick You think your friends care, you pathetic fuckin prick? Look at those arms Look at those scars They’re fuckin ugly and you know that’s what you are When you fetishise your misery The vanity of your self-loathing Thriving on your medical history Just quit your fuckin moaning You self-indulgent narcissistic cunt You self-indulgent narcissistic cunt Another woe is me I know they won’t miss me You self-indulgent narcissistic cunt You’re fuckin sad? You’re fuckin sad? You entitled fuck you haven’t got it bad You don’t know shame You don’t know pain You’ve only got your fuckin self to blame There’s a speed camera in my head Telling me to slow down Slow down Slow down Slow down Hell nah I’ve crashed into a ditch Let them identify my body Notify my family And I could crawl from the wreckage Pull myself free, if I wanted to be But there’s just no fight left in me anymore I’ve tried I’ve tried I’ve tried to exist To be someone who’s not ashamed of themselves But I’m someone who’s done trying now All the little things I owned All the comforts of home Can no longer console me now Cause the life that I’ve shared Is no longer sanctuary And it’s time for me to bow out So I’ll watch you walk away An intricate ballet I might be dragging my feet, I didn’t mean to drag you down I might be dragging my feet, I didn’t mean to drag you down It’s over now I can hear the sound of my grave in the wind through the trees And it’s screaming out my name It’s over now Get the knife Get your pills Choke em down like you said you would You can do it Nothing matters now The thoughts of the people you love They don’t matter now They don’t matter now You’ve never felt so much peace in your heart You can do it You can do it You’ve never felt so much peace in your head Climb into the sheets Drift off silently Comfortably in bed Into the morning light Slip away softly The last words in your head: “It’s time to die” “It’s time to die” “It’s time to die, it’s time” “It’s time to die” It’s time to die, it’s time It’s time to die, it’s time It’s time to die, it’s time It’s time to die They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets They found me dying in the sheets
9.
There’s a chance That there are blue skies above the cloud And somewhere the sun is up There’s a will To fight and courage to lose the war And a tear for your pathetic battle cry I just need a little time to lick my wounds Or to grasp at knotted binds of rope With every closing chapter, a new book can begin I can escape with death, can I escape with hope? Hope I took a knife To myself to cut out a better man But can one carve a way to live from a way to die? These dark spells haven’t consumed me yet These wounds can heal if I just cover my scars up Maybe I don’t have the nerve to see it through Maybe I just don’t have the heart I don’t know if love is enough of a reason But it seems like a good place to start You can’t enjoy the light if you can’t endure the weight You can’t enjoy the light if you can’t endure the weight I’m just a part of a system A system I don’t understand Just a part of a problem A problem I can’t comprehend Though my hands won’t stop shaking, at least I can still walk And with every step I’m taking, I’ll just keep trudging on But when, again, I collapse onto shuddering knees Reach out with your fingertips, please take hold and carry me Please take hold and carry me And for a short while, we can ride the same trajectory As the cycle loops its way back to restart As the abyss begins to stare back at me We can fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart Fall together rather than fall apart

about

This is Goodbye Blue Monday's album, an album by Goodbye Blue Monday.

credits

released March 13, 2023

Lyrics by Graham Lough
"Music" by Goodbye Blue Monday

Recorded & Mixed by James Johnson @ Tonegarden Music Studio, Edinburgh
Mastered by Ant Booth @ Kesbri Studios, Bolton
Produced by The Royal Dick Bar & The Southern Bar
Released via Make-That-A-Take Records on 13th March 2023

Graham Lough - Vocals / Guitar / Organ / Piano / Other Additional Shit
Sean Barnold - Guitar / Vocals / Claps
Ross Gammie - Bass / Vocals / Additional Percussion / Human Bowling Ball
Alberto Morillas-Bravo - Drums

Additional vocals by Jack Cuntingham (of former GBM glory); Deeker from Rad Apples; Brian from Conroy's Basement; Garry Biscuits from The Garry Biscuits Band
Unsolicited harmonies by Jon & Kev from Paper Rifles; Beth fae Gooch

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Goodbye Blue Monday Glasgow, UK

Misery-punk band from Glasgow/Edinburgh, Scotland on Make-That-A-Take Records.

"The most dangerous band in Scottish pop-punk"

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